semi-open post: portraiture

[peaklordshen]

After shifting his way through oil pastels, watercolors, house paint, colored pencils, and an endless variety of paint markers, Shen Yuan has finally managed to get the Mansion to produce a decent set of oil paints, and—wonder of wonders—an easel. He's set up in a spacious, well-lit hall, probably for dancing or salons or whatever, where he's arranged a bunch of furniture in various configurations—wooden screens that he's draped cloth¹ over for backdrops; armchairs stolen from the lounge, wooden stools and high-backed dining chairs from the kitchens; even a lovely chaise lounge in a deep purple that he wistfully thinks he won't actually use, because it would definitely be for Aleksander, and he doubts he'll be doing that entry in his protagonists of the Mansion series after all. He has one of the stools pulled up next to the easel to hold his paints, and is wearing a wide-necked sweater over a black turtleneck and some loose, worn jeans that already have a few flecks of paint on them from when he was doing his color tests.² He's pulled his hair back in a practical bun, and he's currently laying down a layer of gesso on his canvas.

¹ Look, he has to do something with all of those robes he accidentally conjured in his last post.
² After days of feeling very lost and confused about how he's not required to LARP anymore, he's pretty much decided that it actually means he can just change who he's LARPing as at will, and the main way to do this is through fashion. Today he is An Artist.

[Primarily for those Shen Yuan has offered to paint, but anyone else is also welcome to come bother him while he works.]

Comments

[temnota]

"Anything that could be used for the war effort," Aleksander explained. "I know I... mentioned to you before that I had wanted to build a sanctuary for Grisha in Ravka. I had managed to convince one of the Lantsovs to allow me to build a place for Grisha to go to and learn their skills. In return, we were all to form the Second Army and use our talents to defend Ravka. Not the sanctuary I envisioned but it was the closest I could get to. The materialki have an affinity for materials - textiles, metal, those kinds of things. They are responsible for, among other things, creating a kefta that can withstand bullets. I was the General in charge of the Second Army and every Lantsov wants more and more weapons."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan doesn't know what a Lantsov is, but he can gather from context. "That's a shitty deal," he says, frowning. "Making you facilitate violence when all you wanted was peace."

[temnota]

"You are not wrong but at the time, it felt like it was the best trade. I helped the tsar win a war and instead of accepting the gold he offered me, I asked for sanctuary instead - thus the Little Palace and the Second Army. I had foolishly thought things would be easy after that and I was so very wrong."

He shook his head ruefully then changed the subject, not wanting to revisit just how wrong he'd been. "Have you had many sitters yet?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan is absolutely curious about these pieces of Aleksander's canon, and wants to know more--but that was how he'd gotten into this mess in the first place, so he lets him change the subject. "Three," he says, "but--the offer's still open to make it four. If you're willing."

[temnota]

He had not truly expected the offer to still be open so when Shen Yuan said that it was, he couldn't help but smile warmly. "I would be happy to. Would you want to do this now?"

[peaklordshen]

"Absolutely," says Shen Yuan, turning back to his canvas so he can swap it out and also so he doesn't have to look too long at that smile. "I, um. I have a rule, though, that anyone who sits for me has to do so wearing something that makes them feel beautiful. So if you need to change—?"

[temnota]

"Beautiful?" Aleksander repeated, bemused. He had not expected that but if that was the rule then it would be as Shen Yuan commanded. He had sat for portraits before and was well aware that it was the artist in charge, not the sitter. "I will need to change, yes. I'll be a few moments."

He hurried back to his room and stood before the closet for a few moments, projecting thoughts of beautiful, ornate keftas then open the door. Accordingly there were hangers upon hangers of keftas and he started to go through them with a critical eye.

After rejecting several as not quite ornate enough and a blue kefta with black embroidery that was just ridiculous, he came across a stunning black kefta embroidered with gold. The material was of a particularly fine silk and he could not remember the last time he'd seen embroidery so finely wrought. This was clearly the perfect choice for the portrait even if the gold reminded him too much of Alina.

Some more rummaging produced an exquisitely worked shirt, pair of trousers and boots so shiny he could see his reflection in them. He quickly changed out of his old clothes and into the new ones. He took a look at himself in the mirror, straightened his pendent then made his way back to Shen Yuan before he could second-guess everything.

"I hope this meets with your approval," he said, hold his arms out wide.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan has been missing his fan less and less every day, but he would really like to have it now—not even to hide behind it, but to literally fan himself.

"Yes," he says, immediately, and clears his throat. "I mean—I think so. And what matters is your approval." He gestures Aleksander to the purple velvet setee he'd brought in here just for him. "There, please—comfortably, but..." he considers. "What mood would you like to convey?" His first thought was power, but maybe that's not what Aleksander wants. Everyone here is changing, and growing; maybe he'll want something like warmth, or something. "If you imagine the ideal viewer of this portrait, what would you want them to feel, looking at it?"

[temnota]

As directed, Aleksander sprawled on the settee. He leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, shifting a little until he was comfortable. He considered Shen Yuan's words carefully. With his previous experiences, he had tried to present the appropriate dignity as the General of the Second Army while being unobtrusive enough so that it would not be immediately obvious the same man was being painted over and over. In another time, he would have wanted to present an aura of power but that didn't feel right here.

"I want them to feel a sense of freedom," he said finally. "There is nothing to hide, they are seeing me as I am."

[peaklordshen]

"Freedom," Shen Yuan repeats, his mouth quirking. An ironic choice, when they're all trapped in a Mansion unable to return to their worlds, but—isn't it true, of all of these literary characters? Set free from the boundaries of their narratives? Luo Binghe was free to come out, after all, and maybe Aleksander is free to change his course from one which he has learned recently may doom him.

Still—how to represent freedom, when the man is also dressed as he is—his outfit is gorgeous and rich, but hardly loose or casual. The pose is good—Aleksander is clearly used to staging himself in such a way as to attract the eye, and he likes how casual and comfortable he looks—but the composition needs something else.

The ballroom they're in has large glass doors along one wall, leading out to a balcony space. They'd been part of the reason Shen Yuan chose this room, for the light they let in, but he crosses to them now and opens them to the autumnal morning. Without bothering to tell Aleksander to get up, he effortlessly drags the setee and sitter together over so they're framed by the open doors. "Let me know if you get cold," he says, and returns to his easel, picking it up to move it so he has the right angle.

[temnota]

Aleksander was startled when Shen Yuan started dragging him and the settee over the open doors. He noticed the ease with which this was done - another aspect of his powers, surely. While he was curious to know what all they entailed, he also didn't want to ask given how the subject had come up. The less either of them spoke about that night, the better.

"I would have gotten up," he said mildly.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan tsks and shakes his head. "I liked your pose," he says, starting to block in the room around him—the frame of the doorway, the shape the light made on the floor. "If you'd gotten up, you'd never have sat back down exactly the same way."

[temnota]

"Ah, that is a fair point." Unsure as to whether talking was alright or if Shen Yuan preferred silence when working, Aleksander erred on the side of caution and stayed quiet. The settee was comfortable and his kefta was warm enough that he wasn't bothered by the open doors.

So much had changed since his first day here and he was beginning to wonder if that meant he could change too.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan does paint in silence, for a while, but he doesn't want Aleksander to get bored> "So, um," he says. "Obviously I know some things about you, due to circumstances that neither of us would have chosen. But—if you had been free to speak about yourself, from the beginning. What would you have said?"

He means to anyone, not just himself, but Aleksander would be forgiven for thinking the latter is implied instead.

[temnota]

It was an interesting question and Aleksander considered it for a few moments before answering. "I would have admitted to being a general, talked a little bit about the border wars. As I got to know people better, I would have told them about being Grisha and shown them a little of what I could do. The rest of it... I don't know. But then again, I can still hardly believe that there isn't a need to be cautious here. My earliest memories are of running and hiding and my mother drilling me on what names we were calling ourselves this week and where we were from. We never stayed very long in any place."

[peaklordshen]

If Shen Yuan weren't in the middle of painting, and also if Aleksander didn't get overwhelmed with his spiritual energy whenever they touched, and also if he weren't vaguely trying to not make the wanting to kiss him thing happen again—okay, there are a lot of reasons he isn't going over there to take Aleksander's hand in sympathy. But he does cast him a deeply sympathetic glance. "I'm sorry. It's hard, never being able to connect with anyone, because you can't show them who you really are."

[temnota]

"For a long time, I thought that was how it had to be," Aleksander said. "Other people had friendships and connections but not me. And, you know, when people were kind to me or offered to help, I assumed they wanted something of me. Eventually I learned that wasn't always the case but the worry and distrust never really goes away."

[peaklordshen]

Man, is this guy ever going to stop reminding him of Luo Binghe?? Shen Yuan's heart can only take so much!! "My boyfriend, um, had a very similar experience, growing up. Even now he can't really accept that I'm nice to him because he just—deserves it as a person, and not because he's done something specific to earn it." He shakes his head, starting in on the shape of Aleksander's shoulders. "I think some people's worlds just have less kindness in them than they should." If he ever has the chance to meet Aleksander's author, he can file the serial names off one of his Airplane rants easily enough. What the fuck is wrong with people who make characters up just to throw endless horrors at them and give them not even a moment of rest??

[temnota]

A kinder Ravka would have made a better world for Grisha and perhaps a happier Aleksander but at what cost? The world as it was had pushed him to achieve great heights. If he had been safe and comfortable, would he have the mastery of the Small Sciences he had now? He rather thought not and he was not yet at the point to think this an acceptable trade off.

"Maybe. But it has made us who we are. For all that I don't want any other Grisha to have a childhood like mine, I can't deny I learned power and strength from persevering."

[peaklordshen]

If Shen Yuan had met Aleksander in his first life, he would have agreed with this one hundred percent. Of course the power and strength was worth it!! Of course Aleksander had to go through a terrible backstory to become the badass, sexy, morally grey antihero he was!! But--that was before the Abyss. Before he'd seen and known the lovely, bright-faced youth Luo Binghe could have been, without the abuse at Shen Qingqiu's hands, before he'd been forced to destroy that youth for Luo Binghe's Plot Necessary Character Development. Now he doesn't know what he thinks, except his mind is full of the bright youth Aleksander might have been, and he tries to see him in the man before him, tries to capture some ghost of him in the features he's painting.

But it won't do to tell Aleksander he's wrong that his trauma was worth it. He nods, instead. "It gave you a necessary armor."

[temnota]

"I had hoped to change things... but you know how well I've done at that. I still believe that it is possible, that Grisha can be safe and free from persecution but I can't help but wonder now if that cause would be better served by someone else." He started to shake his head then stopped, remembering he was serving as a model and should not be moving. "I suppose I'll never know as long as I am here."

[peaklordshen]

"Are you worried about what's happening to your people while you're here?" Shen Yuan asks. "Like, is there anyone you think might step up for the job?"

[temnota]

"I am. The situation from which the Mansion pulled me from was less than ideal," Aleksander said, grateful that there was no truth spell to compel him to be more descriptive about the details. "One of my commanders, Zoya Nazyalensky, is very capable. But my plans revolved around taking control of the Fold and Zoya, gifted Summoner that she is, is but a Squaller. Her affinity is wind and the only thing that can take the Fold down is light."

She and Alina together would be a formidable pair and if he wasn't there to crawl out of the Fold and do the things Nina had told him he'd done... it was a sobering thought.

[peaklordshen]

Now this is a Pokemon-ass magic system. "I thought, in the zombie fight, you were using shadow," says Shen Yuan. "Do you also have dominion over light?"

[temnota]

"No," Aleksander said. "That was the problem. I think I told you that I created the Shadow Fold. It was meant to be a weapon but the... methods I used to create it in the first place meant the price to be paid for such power was that I lost all control over it. Its darkness was greater than my own. A Sun Summoner would be able to pierce the darkness of the Fold so I waited for them to be born and come into their power. I waited over four hundred years. And then, as I told you, I handled her arrival very badly."

He did not mention how he'd set her tracker on the hunt for Morozova's Stag or how he had tracked her down after she had run from him, killed the Stag in front of her and forced the amplifier on her, and in so doing, was able to use her power for his own.