closed post for the lads: makeover montage

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan is standing in his room in the Mansion in nothing but boxers, absolutely surrounded by clothes. There are stacks of discarded robes in every color of the rainbow (except, notably, red; the Mansion had given him one of those and he'd yelped and hid it under the bed); intricate and wildly expensive guans piled in teetering towers; he's knee-deep in jeans, and boots, and button-up shirts, and dress pants. There's a tuxedo, still on its hanger, swinging from the closet door. Behind it, the closet has helpfully refilled with more options, including a few very pretty dresses that Shen Yuan did not, actually, ask for, but he can't blame it for getting confused. He's fucking confused. He's completely at a loss, in fact.

He groans and grabs an outer robe at random, pulling it around his shoulders, and then falls over backward and starfishes on the clothes-covered floor. He doesn't know what the fuck to wear on a date. Especially not a date with Binghe, a dinner date with Binghe, and of course it's going to be world-class food, because Binghe is incapable of cooking anything else. And Binghe's going to be looking at him. The whole time. And it's not for—for an apology, or even for a seduction; he's just there to talk, and to listen, and to eat, and to—to flirt!! Intentionally!! Like gay people do!!

He has to look good, but not so good that it's painful for Binghe not to ravish him, and like himself—Shen Yuan, the self he's trying to be with Binghe—but not so different from Shen Qingqiu that Binghe doesn't like him anymore because he just looks like some fucking guy. He can't wear what he would have worn on a hypothetical date with a girl, because that's way too cringe and straight. Also, he doesn't know what that would have been, either.

It would be easier to do this somewhere else, anywhere his wardrobe is limited by what he already owns or could readily buy, and not made up of anything he can possibly imagine.

He rubs his hands over his face, and then pulls two slips of talisman paper and a brush from the robe's sleeve. Writing above his head like he's texting in bed, the paper held steady by an invisible force, he finishes two different but equally urgent messages. They fold themselves up, and he paints a last few qi-imbued characters on the outside before they both zoom out of the room in opposite directions.

[Magnus and Galahad will each receive a note that only opens for them and will lead them back to his room once they read it. However, Shen Qingqiu has mixed up which message was for who, so Galahad's reads "SOS!!! date emergency!!!" and then has two little drawings of the prayer hands emoji, and Magnus' reads "I need a favor, if you have the time - your friend Shen Qingqiu."]

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[summerdude]

"Obviously?" Magnus says. "It's a pretty distinctive smell, dude."

[onthewillowsthere]

What? to Magnus; he doesn't want to interrupt but they've lost him.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu opens his mouth, then closes it. "It's--much more illegal in China," he says, defensively. "I didn't recognize the smell. I thought--" he remembers Galahad is here, and subsides. What would he think if he found out Shen Qingqiu gave him some intoxicating plant but didn't even know what it was?? God, he's the worst. That could have gone so badly!!

"It doesn't matter what I thought," he mutters. "Just--we're trying to take it slow. Binghe and I. Now. After. Not doing that at all, at first. So I have to look good, but not, like." He stops. How could he explain that Luo Binghe is really, really, really into him, without sounding vain?? It's not about him, it's just Binghe is really, really, really into people! It's what he does!

[summerdude]

Meanwhile Magnus, who has so much less context on this entire situation, is signing to Galahad using words he's pretty sure he's taught Galahad at this point: Good feelings plant, relaxing. Then he tunes in to what Shen Qingqiu is saying.

"Good, but not like you're trying too hard? Good, but not like you're trying to, um," What's the best way to put this? "...Get laid immediately?

[onthewillowsthere]

Right, Shen Qingqiu's herbal remedy. Galahad nods and focuses back on the conversation at hand.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu sags, relieved that Magnus gets it. "Exactly," he says. "It's also complicated because, um." He looks at Galahad. "I don't think I've told you this,¹ but while I did know Luo Binghe before I got here, he and I are not from the same world, originally. I'm from a world kind of similar to Magnus', but I was dropped into Binghe's world after, um, after I died." He gestures at himself. "This is not my original body."

¹ As opposed to Magnus, who definitely knows all of this because Shen Qingqiu very clearly told him while he was stoned.

[summerdude]

"Wait," Magnus says, alarm growing. This will be evident in his use of sign, too; his movements are a little jerkier than their usual casual fluidity. "Um, is Luo Binghe a god? I think he said he was, but..." He clears his throat and does not clarify anything along that vein, including the fact that he's been wrong in this interpretation before. "Because if he is, like -- dude, I'll support you in whatever, but gods are really bad about knocking up mortals and then peacing out. Usually for good. And I don't want that for you."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad, at the exact same time, asks Shen Qingqiu, "Are you all right?" which he does know is not really what you say to someone who is dead, because the answer is self-evident, but he's not sure what else to say to express his worry. Then, when he realizes Magnus is saying a lot more, he quickly sits back and looks to him again (he does feel Magnus is much more worldly than he is, and presumably understands things better than he does).

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu blinks as both of his friends start talking to him at once, and when he's processed what they're saying—specifically what Magnus is saying—he rubs both of his hands over his face, keeps his face in his hands for a long moment, and then leans over to where Magnus had dropped all his stuff and grabs himself a root beer.

"Well. Okay. First of all—yes, Galahad, I'm okay." He flashes him a smile and opens the root beer. "I'm great, actually, better than I have been. Up until a few days ago I was fatally poisoned, but that's fixed, so, yay." He cracks his neck. "Second of all, Magnus, Binghe is not a god. If he told you he was, he was probably just being..." he gestures, somehow exasperated and fond at once. "Binghe about it. Third of all he would never abandon anyone he knocked up, which is part of how he got to over s—" he course corrects, "one hundred wives. And fourth of all, I'm not technically mortal, anyway." He takes a long pull from his root beer. "Does that help?"

[summerdude]

Helplessly, Magnus takes a root beer of his own and fiddles with the label of it. "One hundred wives?" He's pretty open-minded about relationships, especially after how he's spent the past eight years (gods tend to take many lovers), but that's a lot of marriages in particular.

[onthewillowsthere]

This is... a lot to take in. Specifically it's a lot to take in in a way that does not make Galahad confident that Shen Qingqiu is actually okay -- he's thinking back to the day he talked to Shen Qingqiu after meeting Lancelot, and how Shen Qingqiu said he was happy in a way that even Galahad, who generally has to take people at their word on their emotions, found unconvincing.

He wants to ask if Luo Binghe having a hundred wives makes Shen Qingqiu feel as if he's doing something wrong, because that's how he felt about Claudius: that Claudius had to sleep with other people because Galahad still freezes at the idea of anything more than kissing, because he can't do what should be expected of him. He wouldn't have been able to talk to Claudius about that if Shen Qingqiu hadn't helped him -- wouldn't have been able to be reassured, would have gone on feeling that he had failed at something fundamentally human. If Shen Qingqiu feels that way too, it's something he could explain; but the idea of explaining it right now, like this, snares the words in his throat.

He wants to ask if Shen Qingqiu feels the way he does every morning, weighted down by stone and unable to get up from his bed. He wants to asks if Shen Qingqiu gets more sad when the days get colder, whether the darkness of winter makes him want to be buried underground, under leaves and snow, and left until spring like a root. He wants to ask what Shen Qingqiu actually feels, when he's not pretending(?) to be happy. He's good at listening; he could listen.

He doesn't say anything. Magnus is good at talking, and he seems easy for Shen Qingqiu to talk to. He's easy for Galahad to talk to. Galahad waits for the two of them.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu grabs another root beer and offers it to Galahad. "It's, like, a genre thing," he says, to Magnus. "I don't mind. None of them are here, and I like a lot of them a lot anyway." Well, he likes two of them a lot, Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying, and he has a secret soft spot for Sha Hualing still even though she's so annoying in person. "Plus, um, Sagramore says Binghe told him he's gay now, so."

He blows out a breath. "Anyway, none of that is the point, or why I told you any of it. It's--this body. Like I said, it wasn't mine, and Luo Binghe--he hated the guy who was in here before me. Hell, I hated the guy who was in here before me. And when I first got in here, I had to dress like him, and then I kept dressing like him just out of habit, but I don't--" he bites his lip. "He hasn't minded so far, I guess. But I don't want to show up to our date looking like someone who hurt him so badly. I want to look more like me, who I used to be, but. He's never seen me like that."

[summerdude]

"Okay," Magnus says, focusing on the specific task at hand even though he has so many more questions. They can wait. "What did you look like before you died?" Magnus only had the one outfit before he died, and he still pretty much dresses the same way he did back then. Slightly less threadbare clothes, maybe.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad takes the root beer and opens it, pleased as usual by the very satisfying crack and hiss of the tab and escaping carbonation.

"What did you like?" he asks, a little uncertain about interjecting.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu leans back on his hands, giving Galahad a smile so he knows the question is appreciated. "I was just, like, some guy," he says. "I don't know. My hair was short, but--" he pulls a lock of it forward over his shoulder and twines it around his finger. "I don't want to cut it. I don't think? And I liked, um. Anime bullshit. Pokemon. Webnovels. That's all--entertainment type stuff, stories and art and games," he clarifies for Galahad. "I had money, but no idea how to dress myself, and not much reason to try." Then, muttered self-deprecatingly, "didn't even know I liked men."

[summerdude]

Magnus nods seriously, understanding exactly where Shen Qingqiu is coming from with that last remark. Still, he finds the tone a little dismal, so he says, "Man, welcome to the club," and then pauses signing so he can lean over and clap Shen Qingqiu on the shoulder. "Sometimes a guy has to die before he kisses a guy and then questions his sexuality. It's totally normal. We exist."

Then he glances at Galahad, and what Galahad's wearing, and back at Shen Qingqiu. He resumes signing. "Is there a style of clothes you like better? Wait, we could make t-shirts. For the queer-after-death guys club. I think that would be a very striking first date look."

[onthewillowsthere]

Since Galahad does not have this expertise on t-shirts, and is a pre-dead queer guy, he keeps quiet and pays attention.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu laughs. "Okay, we definitely should make t-shirts, but I think my sister would kill me if I wore any kind of t-shirt on my first ever date." He stops, abruptly, and stares down at the root beer in his hands. He hadn't considered, until right now, how any of his family would react to him dating a man. It had seemed so far away. But somehow sitting here with Magnus and Galahad, drinking root beer, he feels more like Shen Yuan than he has in...a long time. His meimei would be cool, probably, but--"If I weren't already dead, I mean," he finishes, a little hollowly.

[summerdude]

"Okay, so that rules out t-shirts," Magnus says. It strikes him that he's kind of lucky that all his family is either also dead (mother, uncle), also a demigod (Annabeth), or a god (Frey). He looks at Galahad, whose fashion sense seems to have changed more than Magnus's in the time that Magnus has been here, and who therefore may have a better idea how to handle issues of disparate wardrobes. "What do you think?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"You told me for my portrait I should wear something that made me feel beautiful." He takes a drink of root beer. "What makes you feel like that?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan shakes himself out of his weird maudlin thoughts. Had he said that to Galahad?? That almost sounds wise. He takes a minute and really thinks about it.

"I don't really know," he says, finally. "There are clothes I think are beautiful, and sometimes I feel beautiful in Shen Qingqiu's robes from Qing Jing--" like when he'd dressed up for Binghe before, in his many layers of green, "--but that feels like I'm dressing up, like being in a play." Or doing cosplay, not that he ever would have cosplayed Shen Qingqiu in a billion years. "I'm not sure I've ever felt beautiful and like myself at the same time."

[summerdude]

"I told Galahad that I feel beautiful when Alex is looking at me," Magnus offers, in case that helps. "When we go on dates I don't really dress up that much. Sorry, dude, but I'm usually like, 'here's some pants that aren't ripped up or an offensive color or stained, and here's a decent t-shirt and a clean hoodie,' and if I'm lucky they don't clash with Alex's color palette and superior fashion sense. But I focus more on the kind of stuff that I know he likes. Cherry soda. Camping. Opportunities to shapeshift. Cutting my hair. Art. Teasing me. And then he'll hold my hand, and I'll feel..."

He trails off, hands falling limp in his lap, too, as he thinks about how Alex makes him feel, and how much he misses her.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad puts down the can and reaches out to touch Magnus' hand, twining their fingers together, and offers his other hand palm-up to Shen Qingqiu.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu takes his hand, smiling at him. He--he does feel beautiful when Binghe looks at him. Anyone would--it's one of the protagonist powers Airplane loved to bring up with any wife who thought she was ugly because she had one perfect mole on her cheek, or the world's tiniest scar on her eyebrow, or was literally just poor. Held in Luo Binghe's gaze, she felt lovelier than a thousand springtimes. Cue the world's biggest eyeroll.

But Magnus said he feels that way when Alex looks at him, and he's pretty sure Alex isn't the protagonist of their book. Both because Magnus clearly is, with the talking sword and everything, and because she's way too LGBTQ. Side-character status for sure. So maybe--maybe it's just kind of a thing, feeling beautiful in the eyes of someone you love. Maybe it doesn't matter what he wears, because Binghe will be looking at him no matter what.

...Yeah fucking right!! Enough moping!! Get up and get cracking!! He squeezes Galahad's hand and stands up. "Right," he says. "Okay. So basically. There are two ways to go, here. One, xianxia robes." He gestures at the stack of silk. "Pros: They're beautiful, and I know how to style them. Cons: I don't really know how to wear them and feel like me." He gestures at the closet. "Two! Modern, like, nice date clothes. Pros: They remind Binghe less of the scum villain, and are, ostensibly, more my deal. Cons: I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, or what looks good on me, or anything, and also he's never seen me dressed like that and what if he hates it?"

[summerdude]

"When you, um," Magnus says. Fucked, his brain helpfully supplies. He's not signing now -- he likes holding Galahad's hand too much to let go in service of continuing the lessons, and he squeezes Galahad's hand as a kind of signal to this effect. "When you and L.. Binghe... more than kissed. Did he tell you how he feels? About you?" This is the part of the equation Magnus is least clear on, but he knows that if Luo Binghe likes Shen Qingqiu, he probably won't hate what he looks like.