closed post for the lads: makeover montage

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan is standing in his room in the Mansion in nothing but boxers, absolutely surrounded by clothes. There are stacks of discarded robes in every color of the rainbow (except, notably, red; the Mansion had given him one of those and he'd yelped and hid it under the bed); intricate and wildly expensive guans piled in teetering towers; he's knee-deep in jeans, and boots, and button-up shirts, and dress pants. There's a tuxedo, still on its hanger, swinging from the closet door. Behind it, the closet has helpfully refilled with more options, including a few very pretty dresses that Shen Yuan did not, actually, ask for, but he can't blame it for getting confused. He's fucking confused. He's completely at a loss, in fact.

He groans and grabs an outer robe at random, pulling it around his shoulders, and then falls over backward and starfishes on the clothes-covered floor. He doesn't know what the fuck to wear on a date. Especially not a date with Binghe, a dinner date with Binghe, and of course it's going to be world-class food, because Binghe is incapable of cooking anything else. And Binghe's going to be looking at him. The whole time. And it's not for—for an apology, or even for a seduction; he's just there to talk, and to listen, and to eat, and to—to flirt!! Intentionally!! Like gay people do!!

He has to look good, but not so good that it's painful for Binghe not to ravish him, and like himself—Shen Yuan, the self he's trying to be with Binghe—but not so different from Shen Qingqiu that Binghe doesn't like him anymore because he just looks like some fucking guy. He can't wear what he would have worn on a hypothetical date with a girl, because that's way too cringe and straight. Also, he doesn't know what that would have been, either.

It would be easier to do this somewhere else, anywhere his wardrobe is limited by what he already owns or could readily buy, and not made up of anything he can possibly imagine.

He rubs his hands over his face, and then pulls two slips of talisman paper and a brush from the robe's sleeve. Writing above his head like he's texting in bed, the paper held steady by an invisible force, he finishes two different but equally urgent messages. They fold themselves up, and he paints a last few qi-imbued characters on the outside before they both zoom out of the room in opposite directions.

[Magnus and Galahad will each receive a note that only opens for them and will lead them back to his room once they read it. However, Shen Qingqiu has mixed up which message was for who, so Galahad's reads "SOS!!! date emergency!!!" and then has two little drawings of the prayer hands emoji, and Magnus' reads "I need a favor, if you have the time - your friend Shen Qingqiu."]

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[summerdude]

Whoa... Magnus knows that he and Shen Qingqiu are friends, but seeing it written down like that really warms a guy's heart. He folds the note and puts it carefully in the book he's been reading -- this one is about building your own historically accurate trebuchets, and he can't wait to tell TJ Jr. all about it -- for safekeeping.

Since Shen Qingqiu didn't indicate what sort of favor he needed, he puts Jack into pendant form and slips him on his necklace. Then he tries to think of the other kinds of favors a guy like that could possibly need, and collects the following: his notes on all of the lessons he's offered the residents of the Mansion, a couple Pokemon novelizations he'd found in the library, and a few of the plants he's moved to his windowsill.

(It does occur to him that this is overkill, especially since Shen Qingqiu is right next door and he could just pop back into his room if the guy needs anything, but he's still feeling kinda embarrassed that he thought Shen Qingqiu had been telling him about his deadbeat dad, Lan Wangji, so. Better to come prepared.)

Then, even though Shen Qingqiu is right next door, Magnus takes a quick detour to the kitchens for a six-pack of root beer and a bag of snacks. It's possible Shen Qingqiu's favor is munchie-related.

Arms thoroughly full, Magnus makes his way back to Shen Qingqiu's room. He knocks carefully with his elbow, then nudges the door open with his foot.

And nearly drops everything he's holding. "Dude," he says, looking at all the clothes. "What?"

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad gets his message and studies it with grave attention. He's still thinking about Magnus' description of sexts (he's been thinking about it a lot more than he means to, actually: imagining what he would write in a flirtatious note, and how Claudius would react to receiving one) and for one chaotic and terrifying moment he wonders if this is that (who or why is not apparent to him). The words incomprehensible, but the praying hands seem like an obvious entreaty. The only two people he thinks would write to him like this are Magnus and Shen Qingqiu, and they live next to each other.

So he arrives shortly after Magnus, having checked his room first, easing through the open door.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu sits up, but doesn't get off the floor, as first Magnus, then Galahad arrive. He blinks at the towering collection of things in Magnus' hands. "Sorry, did I interrupt something? You could have like, finished what you were doing, I'm just." He grimaces, then sighs, and looks between them. "Thank you for coming, both of you. I'm afraid I need your help."

[summerdude]

"You said you needed a favor," Magnus says, carefully easing his armload of stuff onto the floor, away from the bulk of the mess of clothes. "So I tried to anticipate. I'm Plans Guy."

He's not. He's really, demonstrably not. His best idea of a good plan is to run away from whatever angry meinfretr is trying to kill him and hope he doesn't die. But since Sam isn't here to be the Actual Plans Guy, he's decided to do his best.

"I didn't anticipate the... clothes hurricane? Though?"

[onthewillowsthere]

Magnus is good at talking, so Galahad elects to let him talk. He kneels down to take one of the robes, jade-colored silk with gold starbursts embroidered into it, and rubs the fabric against his palm.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu thought he'd told Galahad he needed a favor, but whatever. Maybe they came together. "Yeah, um. Sorry about the mess." He watches Galahad run the fabric between his fingers and smiles. He wonders if he'd like any of these robes, either for his portrait or just generally. They're not, like, exactly his to give, but it's not like he can buy stuff for his friends, here. He resolves to notice which ones Galahad likes—and for that matter which ones Magnus does, too—and insist they take them away once they're done here.

But they're never going to be done here if they don't get fucking started, so he steels himself. "Magnus. You have a girlfriend, who is also your boyfriend sometimes. And Galahad, it seems like things with Claudius are going well, so, like. I thought you guys might have some advice." He takes a breath. "I—have a date. Technically a first date. Technically, um. My first date. Ever. And I have no idea what to wear."

[summerdude]

Now that Magnus's arms are free, he can sign while he talks -- part of his continuing effort to immerse Galahad in the language even if he's not specifically giving a lesson. "Dude," he says, both out loud and in sign, and hesitates. Shen Qingqiu had talked about trying to turn gay, back when he was high, right? Or had Magnus misinterpreted that too? Rather than asking guy or girl, like he wants, he says, "Who with?"

[onthewillowsthere]

He lifts his head to watch, his gaze flicking between Magnus' hands and Shen Qingqiu's face. He's confident he knows the answer to this question, but he waits.

[peaklordshen]

"Oh, hey!" The signs Magnus is doing look a little different than the ones he half-remembers, but it's still very clearly sign language. He grins at Galahad. "I'm glad you found someone who knows more than just 'eat.' And," to Magnus' question, going a little pink, "Luo Binghe. So you can, like, imagine the pressure I'm under." Because obviously Binghe is the most beautiful man ever born, and Shen Qingqiu has to not totally fucking embarrass him.

[summerdude]

"You leaned in!" Magnus says, delighted. He doesn't have particular feelings one way or another about Luo Binghe, since they've really only met the once, but Magnus is all about hyping up his friends' crushes. "Did you kiss him? Was it good? Obviously it was good if you're going to go on a date with him." As he talks, he twists a little, so that he's facing Galahad more squarely too. He keeps signing, this time without talking: hi, friend.

[onthewillowsthere]

He signs back hello, Magnus, his serious expression momentarily settling into a smile before he looks back at Shen Qingqiu.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu notices their signing, but he's too distracted--and embarrassed--by Magnus' questions to really wonder about it. "I, yes, I kissed him," he says. "Um. A lot. We did--a lot more than kiss. But--but there was a whole--" he stops. Stares at Magnus. "Did you know it was just weed in that vape?"

[summerdude]

"Obviously?" Magnus says. "It's a pretty distinctive smell, dude."

[onthewillowsthere]

What? to Magnus; he doesn't want to interrupt but they've lost him.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu opens his mouth, then closes it. "It's--much more illegal in China," he says, defensively. "I didn't recognize the smell. I thought--" he remembers Galahad is here, and subsides. What would he think if he found out Shen Qingqiu gave him some intoxicating plant but didn't even know what it was?? God, he's the worst. That could have gone so badly!!

"It doesn't matter what I thought," he mutters. "Just--we're trying to take it slow. Binghe and I. Now. After. Not doing that at all, at first. So I have to look good, but not, like." He stops. How could he explain that Luo Binghe is really, really, really into him, without sounding vain?? It's not about him, it's just Binghe is really, really, really into people! It's what he does!

[summerdude]

Meanwhile Magnus, who has so much less context on this entire situation, is signing to Galahad using words he's pretty sure he's taught Galahad at this point: Good feelings plant, relaxing. Then he tunes in to what Shen Qingqiu is saying.

"Good, but not like you're trying too hard? Good, but not like you're trying to, um," What's the best way to put this? "...Get laid immediately?

[onthewillowsthere]

Right, Shen Qingqiu's herbal remedy. Galahad nods and focuses back on the conversation at hand.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu sags, relieved that Magnus gets it. "Exactly," he says. "It's also complicated because, um." He looks at Galahad. "I don't think I've told you this,¹ but while I did know Luo Binghe before I got here, he and I are not from the same world, originally. I'm from a world kind of similar to Magnus', but I was dropped into Binghe's world after, um, after I died." He gestures at himself. "This is not my original body."

¹ As opposed to Magnus, who definitely knows all of this because Shen Qingqiu very clearly told him while he was stoned.

[summerdude]

"Wait," Magnus says, alarm growing. This will be evident in his use of sign, too; his movements are a little jerkier than their usual casual fluidity. "Um, is Luo Binghe a god? I think he said he was, but..." He clears his throat and does not clarify anything along that vein, including the fact that he's been wrong in this interpretation before. "Because if he is, like -- dude, I'll support you in whatever, but gods are really bad about knocking up mortals and then peacing out. Usually for good. And I don't want that for you."

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad, at the exact same time, asks Shen Qingqiu, "Are you all right?" which he does know is not really what you say to someone who is dead, because the answer is self-evident, but he's not sure what else to say to express his worry. Then, when he realizes Magnus is saying a lot more, he quickly sits back and looks to him again (he does feel Magnus is much more worldly than he is, and presumably understands things better than he does).

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu blinks as both of his friends start talking to him at once, and when he's processed what they're saying—specifically what Magnus is saying—he rubs both of his hands over his face, keeps his face in his hands for a long moment, and then leans over to where Magnus had dropped all his stuff and grabs himself a root beer.

"Well. Okay. First of all—yes, Galahad, I'm okay." He flashes him a smile and opens the root beer. "I'm great, actually, better than I have been. Up until a few days ago I was fatally poisoned, but that's fixed, so, yay." He cracks his neck. "Second of all, Magnus, Binghe is not a god. If he told you he was, he was probably just being..." he gestures, somehow exasperated and fond at once. "Binghe about it. Third of all he would never abandon anyone he knocked up, which is part of how he got to over s—" he course corrects, "one hundred wives. And fourth of all, I'm not technically mortal, anyway." He takes a long pull from his root beer. "Does that help?"

[summerdude]

Helplessly, Magnus takes a root beer of his own and fiddles with the label of it. "One hundred wives?" He's pretty open-minded about relationships, especially after how he's spent the past eight years (gods tend to take many lovers), but that's a lot of marriages in particular.

[onthewillowsthere]

This is... a lot to take in. Specifically it's a lot to take in in a way that does not make Galahad confident that Shen Qingqiu is actually okay -- he's thinking back to the day he talked to Shen Qingqiu after meeting Lancelot, and how Shen Qingqiu said he was happy in a way that even Galahad, who generally has to take people at their word on their emotions, found unconvincing.

He wants to ask if Luo Binghe having a hundred wives makes Shen Qingqiu feel as if he's doing something wrong, because that's how he felt about Claudius: that Claudius had to sleep with other people because Galahad still freezes at the idea of anything more than kissing, because he can't do what should be expected of him. He wouldn't have been able to talk to Claudius about that if Shen Qingqiu hadn't helped him -- wouldn't have been able to be reassured, would have gone on feeling that he had failed at something fundamentally human. If Shen Qingqiu feels that way too, it's something he could explain; but the idea of explaining it right now, like this, snares the words in his throat.

He wants to ask if Shen Qingqiu feels the way he does every morning, weighted down by stone and unable to get up from his bed. He wants to asks if Shen Qingqiu gets more sad when the days get colder, whether the darkness of winter makes him want to be buried underground, under leaves and snow, and left until spring like a root. He wants to ask what Shen Qingqiu actually feels, when he's not pretending(?) to be happy. He's good at listening; he could listen.

He doesn't say anything. Magnus is good at talking, and he seems easy for Shen Qingqiu to talk to. He's easy for Galahad to talk to. Galahad waits for the two of them.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu grabs another root beer and offers it to Galahad. "It's, like, a genre thing," he says, to Magnus. "I don't mind. None of them are here, and I like a lot of them a lot anyway." Well, he likes two of them a lot, Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying, and he has a secret soft spot for Sha Hualing still even though she's so annoying in person. "Plus, um, Sagramore says Binghe told him he's gay now, so."

He blows out a breath. "Anyway, none of that is the point, or why I told you any of it. It's--this body. Like I said, it wasn't mine, and Luo Binghe--he hated the guy who was in here before me. Hell, I hated the guy who was in here before me. And when I first got in here, I had to dress like him, and then I kept dressing like him just out of habit, but I don't--" he bites his lip. "He hasn't minded so far, I guess. But I don't want to show up to our date looking like someone who hurt him so badly. I want to look more like me, who I used to be, but. He's never seen me like that."

[summerdude]

"Okay," Magnus says, focusing on the specific task at hand even though he has so many more questions. They can wait. "What did you look like before you died?" Magnus only had the one outfit before he died, and he still pretty much dresses the same way he did back then. Slightly less threadbare clothes, maybe.