open post: pollen science

[peaklordshen]

After his conversation with Sagramore, Shen Qingqiu had taken a long, hot shower, mainly for the novelty of it, and then gotten dressed again in his robes—although he wore fewer layers than were truly proper for a peak lord, and he'd forgone his guan in favor of just braiding his hair in a thick coil against his neck. He leaves the two looser loops at the front—he still can't find his fan, and it felt wrong to not have any frame to his face at all. He's not thinking about why he feels loath to fully don his Shen Qingqiu persona. He's not thinking about much, about the last few days. Instead, he's thinking about pollen.

He's in the greenhouse, carefully laying out a sample cut from every plant in the place, as well as every plant he can imagine producing pollen of any kind from the grounds. Grasses, flowers, buds, leaves, even a few species of harmless-looking mushroom. He's using a pair of tweezers he found to gentle separate them so he can examine the internal structures. Some he recognizes as entirely harmless - Earth flora; others are stranger, more alien. Some even look similar to plants from Proud Immortal Demon Way, though thankfully none are obviously aphrodisiac in nature. Shen Qingqiu is wearing his gloves and mask again anyway—he doesn't want to breathe in the wrong pollen; normal sex pollen would just increase his normal desires and make him hyper-straight, totally defeating the purpose.

He has his notebook open to a fresh page, and is making meticulous lists.

Comments

[peaklordshen]

"Oh," says Shen Qingqiu, surprised. "I didn't know you were personally acquainted. Um, sorry for lopping some samples off them?" Do Christian demons have an affinity for plants?? Is this some kind of Garden of Eden thing?? Why does he feel like he needs to start going to Sunday school just so he has an idea of what's going on around here?

[aflashbastard]

“No no, you’ve actually helped me. Thanks,” Crowley replies. He turns towards the plants again, tone threatening this time. “And he’ll lop off more unless you grow faster.”

[peaklordshen]

Is Crowley... extorting these plants? Why does he need them to grow faster, anyway? What's he going to use them for?

And then it strikes him, so obvious he can't believe it didn't occur to him before. A demon of temptation, right here in the mansion, cultivating plants for mysterious purpose. And homosexuality is a Christian sin! Is Crowley just... sitting here, racking up whatever the Hellish equivalent of B-points are every time an unsuspecting beautiful man kisses another unsuspecting beautiful man????

He keeps his face neutral--much more difficult, without the fan,¹ and asks, "you have a purpose for these plants?"

¹ Less successful, too--Crowley may or may not have witnessed an entire face journey.

[aflashbastard]

"Yes," Crowley says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "gardening." If he's witnessed an entire journey of emotions and thoughts, he doesn't let on. He nods at the entire array of cuttings in front of Shen Qingqiu. "You also have a purpose, I'm guessing? Aside from accidentally going mildly Jeffrey Dahmer in front of all of these plants."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu narrows his eyes at him. Shady. He lets Crowley redirect, though. "Yeah," he says. "I'm looking for something. In the world I come from, there's a lot of... mind-altering plants and pollens. I'm trying to determine whether the same is true here."

[aflashbastard]

"Are you looking for something in particular?" Crowley asks. It used to be just another way to pass the time - but he does like plants¹ and is proud of the greenhouse upkeep he's been doing.

¹They just don't like him.

[peaklordshen]

Crowley is doing a good job of playing it cool, though he must know Shen Qingqiu is onto him, by now. "Oh, you know," he says, pointedly. "Something that... relaxes or changes certain rules. Lowers inhibitions. Makes people more likely to try things they might otherwise not be interested in."

[aflashbastard]

"Oh, that plant. I know all about that one," Crowley says. "It's definitely here. Claudius and I tried it the other day."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu blinks, taken aback. He hadn't expected Crowley to be indulging in BL pollen himself, just benefiting from it happening to others. And with Claudius, as some kind of—of substitute demonic rebound???¹ "Ah," he says. He gestures at the table behind him. "Have I—collected it, here, among my samples?"

¹ From Binghe, obviously. Who else could Claudius need to rebound from?

[aflashbastard]

He takes a look at the samples on the table, scanning them. "No, I don't see it here. I haven't spotted it in plant form yet. You normally smoke it, you know. I also gave it in vape pen form to whatshisname--" he waves his hand vaguely "--Grantaire."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu doesn't know who Grantaire is, but he's willing to bet he's a) pretty and b) in bed with an equally pretty man right now. "You gave it out as a vape pen?" he asks, weakly. The debauchery around here is even more out of hand than he'd expected--Janet for sure owes him an apology.

[aflashbastard]

"I mean, vaping is more effective than smoking," Crowley says, unsure why Shen Qingqiu is acting so shocked. He thought he was cool. Isn't he friends with Luo Binghe? And isn't Luo Binghe demonic in nature? Maybe he's straight edge. Or maybe he's struggling with temptation. "Do you... need something?"

[peaklordshen]

If they'd had this conversation a few days ago, this would be the point at which Shen Qingqiu whipped out his accusations. I know what you're up to, foul beast!! only, like, probably phrased different than that, because that sounds cringe even in his head. But it's not a few days ago, and his priorities have... changed. He draws himself up, primly. "Yes," he says. "I—I would like some. Please."

[aflashbastard]

"Here," Crowley says, handing over a very innocuous looking vape, "just make sure to pace yourself¹ and that you have enough snacks²."

¹He means the vape.
²For the inevitable cravings.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Qingqiu has never needed his fan more. He is going to die of embarrassment. He is going to disintegrate into dust before he can even put his lips to—to—¹

He takes the vape. "Thank you," he manages, somehow, strangled, and then flees.

¹ Even he doesn't know if this sentence ends with "the vape" or "Binghe's mouth" or... something else.