Luo Binghe takes his hand and holds it palm-up in his own, softly tracing the palm with his other thumb. He needs a moment to assess what he knows. He is almost certain now that this man is the same as the Shen Qingqiu he encountered in his own involuntary jaunt between worlds. If a wandering spirit woke up as Shen Qingqiu in one reality, he might do it in another. And if that is the case, then Luo Binghe has won. What he wanted is his—or near enough to it.
This whole time, he's felt that the mansion is testing him. Leading him to one conclusion, whether or not it is true. And after his conversation with Crowley, he has begun to think that it only matters if they are to return to their own realms. Here in this place, who minds if he lies with men or women? Half the men here have similar tastes. Who expects him to have a harem of hundreds? There isn't even room for them. The one thing that frightens him—so much that he cannot dismiss it—is being sent back without notice. What if he allows himself to live in this new way, and when he goes back to his palace, he finds everything he's built his legacy on to be meaningless? By embracing what he's drawn to, he risks destroying what he's left behind.
It almost seems as if fate has led him here specifically to meet this man. The timing is too precise. He met Claudius first, and his appetites were whetted. He encountered the blank library book, which caused him to ruminate on his tastes. He was introduced to woman after woman that spurned him, perhaps meant to turn him away from the entire sex. And then Shen Qingqiu arrived. He might think it a gift from fate, but fate has never been kind to him. It still feels more like a trap, with Shen Qingqiu as the bait. But thinking that doesn't make him want Shen Qingqiu less. He had two days with this man six months ago, and has thought of them every day since. If this is temporary, he should not be holding himself back; he should be charging ahead as eagerly as possible to make the most of it.
That settles the matter. If his reward were only fickle Claudius or intriguing Sagramore, he might not find it worth it to explore his newfound desires. But Shen Qingqiu is a prize beyond measure. He must make Shen Qingqiu his, no matter the cost. And having seen him with the other Luo Binghe, it almost seems a guarantee. He can hardly stand that any time remains between him and the outcome he craves.
"Don't tell me of yourself, then—tell me of myself. You became Shen Qingqiu unexpectedly, and you met Luo Binghe. Is your regard for me based on a naive child?" He laughs, a touch bitterly. "If so, you will be greatly disappointed. I'm afraid I'm not who I was, when I was Shen Qingqiu's disciple."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2023-10-10 05:02 pm (UTC)This whole time, he's felt that the mansion is testing him. Leading him to one conclusion, whether or not it is true. And after his conversation with Crowley, he has begun to think that it only matters if they are to return to their own realms. Here in this place, who minds if he lies with men or women? Half the men here have similar tastes. Who expects him to have a harem of hundreds? There isn't even room for them. The one thing that frightens him—so much that he cannot dismiss it—is being sent back without notice. What if he allows himself to live in this new way, and when he goes back to his palace, he finds everything he's built his legacy on to be meaningless? By embracing what he's drawn to, he risks destroying what he's left behind.
It almost seems as if fate has led him here specifically to meet this man. The timing is too precise. He met Claudius first, and his appetites were whetted. He encountered the blank library book, which caused him to ruminate on his tastes. He was introduced to woman after woman that spurned him, perhaps meant to turn him away from the entire sex. And then Shen Qingqiu arrived. He might think it a gift from fate, but fate has never been kind to him. It still feels more like a trap, with Shen Qingqiu as the bait. But thinking that doesn't make him want Shen Qingqiu less. He had two days with this man six months ago, and has thought of them every day since. If this is temporary, he should not be holding himself back; he should be charging ahead as eagerly as possible to make the most of it.
That settles the matter. If his reward were only fickle Claudius or intriguing Sagramore, he might not find it worth it to explore his newfound desires. But Shen Qingqiu is a prize beyond measure. He must make Shen Qingqiu his, no matter the cost. And having seen him with the other Luo Binghe, it almost seems a guarantee. He can hardly stand that any time remains between him and the outcome he craves.
"Don't tell me of yourself, then—tell me of myself. You became Shen Qingqiu unexpectedly, and you met Luo Binghe. Is your regard for me based on a naive child?" He laughs, a touch bitterly. "If so, you will be greatly disappointed. I'm afraid I'm not who I was, when I was Shen Qingqiu's disciple."