closed post: luo binghe's bedroom

[peaklordshen]

After Airplane's gone, and Liu Mingyan is presumably gone, and King Arthur is gone, and Jiang Cheng is gone, and the Mansion is filled with just the expected people once more, Shen Yuan feels—exhausted. Every time he sets into some kind of normalcy here, makes some kind of plan, feels some kind of way about why he's here, what he's doing, what he wants, something upends the whole thing and throws everything into question again.

Or—well. It's not like seeing Airplane again and meeting Liu Mingyan actually changed anything. It just made it—kind of more real, the idea of leaving here eventually—possibly a soon eventually, now that Luo Binghe has Xin Mo again—and going to her version of things and not to his. Shen Yuan's, Airplane's—well, it was Airplane's version, actually, but not the one with him in it.

Liu Mingyan had seemed so sad. Not actively, not about what was happening to her in the moment, but passively sad, like it was her normal state of being. And she was Empress!! If she was sad, married to Luo Binghe and with all the riches of the Three Realms, what about the normal nobodies of Proud Immortal Demon Way?? He hadn't thought his world was all that different than the original goods, not in the broad strokes, but he'd spent most of his time, well... goofing off, with the other Peak Lords, when he could, and pretty much all of them were dead at Luo Binghe's hand. Who was he supposed to goof off with, when Luo Binghe was too busy being Emperor to have time for him?

The concept of Luo Binghe being too busy for him at all is displeasing enough, and he's man enough to admit that in the mood he's in, what he really wants is to be held. So he's sitting on Luo Binghe's bed, in Luo Binghe's bedroom, idly flipping through Luo Binghe's copy of Veiled Moon and waiting for him to come back.

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[protagonisthalo]

Ah, Shen Yuan is so good, he's trying so hard—Luo Binghe tangles his hands in his hair, whimpering, rocking his hips just slightly with Shen Yuan's movements. Luo Binghe is so sensitive—it feels so good it almost hurts, mirroring the fierce ache in his chest. He is caught there, on the edge between pain and pleasure, between joy and desperation, everything too much and not nearly enough. His pulse stutters. Shen Yuan looks so beautiful like this, completely absorbed in his task, and Luo Binghe opens his mouth to tell him so—but then he thinks of Shen Yuan's true form, the skinny short-haired youth, and how much more beautiful he would be on his knees like this, face flushed and mouth wet—and suddenly he is very close.

[peaklordshen]

Oh, Binghe's hands in his hair is--Shen Yuan bobs his head faster, sucking lightly, and raises his eyes to look at Binghe's face.

It's almost instantly too much. His mouth is slack in pleasure, his eyes so, so dark, the flush on his cheeks extending all the way down his chest. He's devastatingly beautiful just standing in a room thinking about nothing; seeing him like this is like a lightning bolt has split Shen Yuan open from the top of his head to the tip of his dick. He moans around the velvet weight in his mouth, and the sound, or the momentum, or just sheer tenacity finally lets the head of Binghe's dick slide past the resistance, deeper into his throat.

[protagonisthalo]

Making eye contact with Shen Yuan sends an intense bolt of pleasure through Luo Binghe. His beautiful, perfect boyfriend, so easily flustered in public, yet so lewd in his eager, unpracticed attentions. Luo Binghe can't help himself—he takes himself in hand and rubs the tip against the back of Shen Yuan's throat with a helpless mmn, every part of him drawing tight. He's so close—and Shen Yuan told him not to hold back—and the thought that Shen Yuan wants him to sends him over the edge. He clutches Shen Yuan's hair so tight his hand shakes, his mouth falling open as he comes into the warm heat of Shen Yuan's mouth.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan swallows instinctively, mainly out of shock, and then gasps, and chokes a little, and pulls off to cough. His face is a mess, eyes teary, mouth wet and cheeks smeared with his own saliva and Binghe's--Luo Binghe's--!!!!

He hides his face in Binghe's hip, embarrassed and overwhelmed and hot all over.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe's chest aches even more. He loves how Shen Yuan loses himself in pleasure and then draws back, as if startled of his own desires. Shen Yuan is impossibly sweet, so good that Luo Binghe cannot imagine how someone like this can touch him without sensing his unworthiness. Luo Binghe has never deserved any of the wealth and power he's gained, and he's never had any illusions otherwise. He was born vile, unlovable, so he has dedicated his life to taking what he does not deserve, proving that he is not beholden to fate. And he's never repented. Why shouldn't he be entitled to take what he's bought with his suffering? Why should good things be reserved for the worthy?

But Shen Yuan deserves so much better. He deserves someone as good as he is, but he is unaccountably devoted to Luo Binghe.

Luo Binghe needs to embrace him. Instead of pulling Shen Yuan up, he slides off the bed and sinks to the floor next to him, legs trembling, and pulls him tightly into his arms. He is weak with the aftershocks of pleasure, his breath still shaking, and he squeezes his eyes shut against the sudden heat behind them.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan laughs a little into this sudden embrace. "Binghe," he breathes, his throat a little raspy. "Sweetheart, what--"

[protagonisthalo]

It's too much to explain how scared he's been since the confrontation with Galahad, how aware of his own deficiencies. He buries his face in the warmth of Shen Yuan's neck and gets a hand between them, fumbling with the clasp of Shen Yuan's pants. "Let me—"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan despairs a little. Are they ever going to fool around not on the floor?? But it's not like he's going to say no to Binghe's hand down his pants, so he lifts his hips to help, pressing a little kiss to the shell of Binghe's ear.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe has limited experience with these garments, especially from this angle, but he is still Luo Binghe. He gets Shen Yuan's pants undone and thrusts his hand in without preamble, moaning at the evidence of how much Shen Yuan enjoyed pleasuring him. His movements are frantic with the need to prove himself—in so many ways, but making Shen Yuan finish is one he can accomplish right now. He jerks Shen Yuan savagely, his chest heaving in big shuddering gasps as though he is the one being touched. "Ah—you're so—"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan makes a high, horrifically embarrassing sound right in Binghe's ear. No one has ever touched him like this--only Binghe has ever touched his dick at all, and he was pretty distracted by everything else going on at the time--he's never even touched himself like this, so fast and rough. It's too much, all at once, and he clings to Binghe. "Fuck, ah--" His nails dig into Binghe's bare back, and he instantly feels bad about it, forcibly relaxing his hands. "Sorry, sorry--"

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe gasps. "No, ah, please—I like it—" He pulls out his hand and spits in the palm, then shoves it back in and drags his fist up and down Shen Yuan's cock, slower now but more deliberate, hard and relentless—and bites where Shen Yuan's neck meets his shoulder.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan has no time to process this--Binghe likes-- because with the added slickness and steadier rhythm he's suddenly disastrously close to the edge. His hips twist, fucking helplessly up into the circle of Binghe's hand, and he's gasping, unable to get a full breath in his lungs. The bite has his toes curling in shocked pleasure, his socked feet sliding against the floor on either side of Binghe's hips.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe kisses him. Shen Yuan has yet to wipe his face, and feeling how messy he is—and tasting himself—has Luo Binghe moaning into his mouth, shoving his tongue deeper as he strokes mercilessly.

[peaklordshen]

Binghe's moans shake through Shen Yuan, sending him careening over the edge. The orgasm must reactivate some left over unexecuted keysmash in Shen Yuan's brain, because as he comes back to himself he's sucking on Binghe's tongue like he's still blowing him, lewd and mortifying. He stops immediately, softening it into a more respectable but still breathless kiss, his whole body trembling.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe is already half-hard again. He breaks the kiss—then dives back in, unable to help himself, pressing several more kisses to Shen Yuan's mouth before he pulls back for real. He brings his hand up to his mouth and deliberately, showily, licks it clean.

[peaklordshen]

"Binghe," Shen Yuan protests, though what exactly he's protesting he doesn't know. Maybe just the generalized circumstance; they're both just--sitting on the floor, dicks out and (in his case) soft, kissing, like--like--

He feels overwhelmed, embarrassment and tenderness warring in his chest. "You," he starts, "that--um, thank you."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe bites the inside of his lip, perilously close to tears again for no reason that he can name. "I'm only happy I can please you. I, ah—"

The absurdity of the situation finally, faintly registers—Luo Binghe has had sex on dozens of floors, but rarely right next to a bed. He tucks himself away and stands unsteadily, his muscles still weak from orgasm and his insides shaky with emotion. Then he extends a hand to help Shen Yuan up.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan takes his hand, letting Binghe pull himself to his feet. "Just--give me a sec," he says, and lets go of him to peel his increasingly uncomfortable jeans and underwear off, and then he's Winnie the Pooh-ing it, which is ridiculous, so he takes his shirt off, too, and then he's too cold, so obviously he has to get into Binghe's bed and pull Binghe after him. "Okay," he says, and kisses him on the way. "Okay, hi."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe flushes at the kiss—still, after what they've just done—and wraps his arms around his boyfriend. Shen Yuan is so warm, and somehow feels exactly right in Luo Binghe's arms, like he's just the shape that fits there the best. Luo Binghe is so grateful, so improbably happy. He turns his face into the pillow, trying to hide it as tears slip out.

[peaklordshen]

Binghe is clearly trying to hide it, but he's shaking, a little, and his face is wet. The tenderness in Shen Yuan's chest slips away into anxiety. He smoothes Binghe's hair back from his face. "Hey," he says, "hey, was that--was that not good--"

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe shakes his head fervently. "It was perfect—you were perfect, I loved it, I—" He wipes at the corner of his eye. "Can I ask you something?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan kisses him right under the eye, where he'd just touched. "Yeah, of course."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe tugs him a little closer. "Do you believe me now? When I say that I love you? Have I—have I done enough for you to trust me?"

[peaklordshen]

Something cracks in Shen Yuan's chest. He takes a breath. God, he's been so preoccupied with his selfish little problems, and Binghe this whole time has been--what, thinking he has to complete loyalty trials or some shit?? He's the worst boyfriend in the history of the universe.

"I--I'm sorry," he says, "god, I--yes, of course I believe you." Luo Binghe introduced him to Liu Mingyan. They've been dating for weeks, and Binghe's been so sweet and wonderful the whole time, and--"This whole time, I made you feel like you had to prove yourself--Binghe, that's so terrible--"

[protagonisthalo]

"It's not," Luo Binghe says, although a fragile bubble of joy swells inside him at Shen Yuan's reassurance. "It isn't terrible—of course I have to prove myself. I'm—I'm trying so hard, to be the right person for you, and—when you do things that make me so happy"—his voice cracks—"I just feel so scared that it can't last, or that I haven't earned it. I—I've made things hard for you. With your friends."