"Ah, the truth spell." He looks meditative for a moment. "To he honest with you--"
He pauses on the cusp of saying anything. He meant what he told Laertes, that he's always afraid when people realize he isn't just charming and content he'll lose whatever spark draws them to him, and he'll be alone. A merry flirtatious drunk is a great deal different from one wearied by shame. But Laertes is still around, in spite of the fact that Sagramore wouldn't blame him for leaving (he's had lovers he knew longer who left for less). This place is full of people who don't see an evil spirit in his seizures (unbidden he thinks of Laertes washing him in the aftermath, of Asmodean pillowing saidin under his aching head), who treat him like someone worthy if care rather than an embarrassment. If all that is true, perhaps it doesn't matter that Shen Yuan can see him for what he is. Perhaps, inexplicably, Shen Yuan likes him anyway (he is so glad Shen Yuan can't see any of this stupid self-pitying monologue).
"--That was hard," he says, rearranging himself in the armchair so that his legs hang over the arm. "That spell."
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2023-11-27 06:00 pm (UTC)He pauses on the cusp of saying anything. He meant what he told Laertes, that he's always afraid when people realize he isn't just charming and content he'll lose whatever spark draws them to him, and he'll be alone. A merry flirtatious drunk is a great deal different from one wearied by shame. But Laertes is still around, in spite of the fact that Sagramore wouldn't blame him for leaving (he's had lovers he knew longer who left for less). This place is full of people who don't see an evil spirit in his seizures (unbidden he thinks of Laertes washing him in the aftermath, of Asmodean pillowing saidin under his aching head), who treat him like someone worthy if care rather than an embarrassment. If all that is true, perhaps it doesn't matter that Shen Yuan can see him for what he is. Perhaps, inexplicably, Shen Yuan likes him anyway (he is so glad Shen Yuan can't see any of this stupid self-pitying monologue).
"--That was hard," he says, rearranging himself in the armchair so that his legs hang over the arm. "That spell."